And then there was me...

I'm starting this blog for a few reasons...1) to keep track of all my crazy mis-adventures in this disease we like to call life. B) In honor of my 33rd birthday, I'm another year older, and quite possibly another year crazier. 3) Maybe by reading my ridiculous experiences we can all bond, share a laugh, or just feel better about your life. If the last is the case, glad I could help! and lastly, D) why not? Its a great way to share my story.

About me and relationships:  I'm currently separated from my ex-husband of 5 years, we shall call him Fat-head. I'm not dating anyone, unless you count my fantasy boyfriends from TV and/or books. And the last guy I did date, well, lets just say he was pretty...and that's about it. We'll call him Alabama. I'm pretty sure my vibrator did a better job of making me feel loved then he did. As of right now, I do A LOT talking through the internet with various men, some from the U.S. Some from other countries. I know, I know....your thinking...oh how sad....she can only meet men on the internet....you could be right, but hey who knows, maybe my Mr. Perfect is in Russia, slamming back vodka as we speak,  and if he isn't? Then at least Ill have some interesting stories to tell you all about the men I do meet.

About Me and Family: I have a very chaotic family. My mom lives with her boyfriend, I have two younger siblings, one a sister, who has this fantastic marriage and blonde adorable baby....I know, we hate her. I actually love her, but how is it my 22 year old sister has it together more then I do? I suspect I know, but we'll chat more on that later. I also have a brother. Now, don't get it twisted, I love my family, but we are definitely closer to Roseanne then the Brady Bunch. I also have an amazing 7 year old daughter, she is what keeps me grounded and keeps me from running away with the circus or whatever other random fantasy I might concoct in my head and decide I need to try.

About me and friends: Maybe by now you've realized I'm mildy sarcastic...or at least snarky. So your thinking..is it possible for her to have friends? I'm always a little shocked too. I have my friend I'm closest to, we shall call her Spam. That's right she's a congealed meat in a can. She puts up with a lot and loves me like a sister. And I'm grateful for her everyday. And I have the Cougar, she likes hot, young men, who can blame her right? She is fiery and crazy and just as sarcastic as I am, and I adore her for that. And there's a few more....you'll meet them along the way.

About Me and my Interests: So what do I do besides get on here and type about my life? I work in customer service and regularly want to slam my own head into the desk when I get customers who cant even use the devices they pay a bazillion for. "Please Ma'am...put down the iPhone 5...just back away...its dangerous in your hands....now over there is a nice little flip phone....this is perfect for you and your capabilities..." I also attend school full-time, I'm convinced its primarily to owe debt to Sallie Mae who will repo my degree one day when I'm still working in customer service for nada money and cant pay my loan debt, but it will look great hung up with magnets on my fridge. I have other interests as well....reading porn , or as others like to call it "50 Shades of Grey", cooking, traveling and laughing, and shoes, omg, yes, shoes....those might actually be my type of porn.

So, why should you read my blog.....to laugh at my idiocy is always an acceptable reason.