Thursday, July 18, 2013

Porn Stars

So, I thought Id add a funny customer service story blog on here since I hadn't done so in today I get a call from a customer he starts out by telling me his phone is frozen and he needs help fixing it but ABSOLUTELY does NOT want to take it in store. Ok? So, clearly, this man hates stores, or going out in public, or whatever.
So, I ask him some questions regarding what happened previous to the device freezing...was it dropped? Did you download any new apps or SW updates?
He says yes. I ask, Do you mind if I ask what app? He says, well, Im sure you have heard of Porn Hub.  O_O

I, of course, fail to really respond and ask him has he tried removing the app?

He responds with... No, because its not an app, its videos he downloads to his phone. Of his own porn.   

Wha, wha, what? 

He then proceeds to inform me that he is a porn star, downloads his own videos to his phone, and has pornographic pictures of himself on his phone as well as stored as his background, etc. 

My first thought effin way. He must be joking.

He sticks with it to his credit though all the way through his call.

I of course want to say things do know porn has viruses? Everyone knows that. And, my favorite...Sir, I understand this is your profession, and seeing as how it is, you must be aware that porn made in your mom's basement is usually going to slow down your device, no one should ever download free porn to their phone.

And that my friends is just one more adventure in the land of customer service.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


I have previously mentioned my new obsession with subscription boxes, specifically beauty boxes. How had I never discovered these before now, I have no idea! But I love them already! I love trying new beauty products, sometimes it results in some serious disasters, but other times, I find a product I adore. I wanted to share these great ideas, in the hopes of making even one person have any easier time finding what works well for them. So, the first box I have received is from +Glossybox .  I loved the little designer box it came in, everything wrapped inside with paper and a bow, charming!

 I got some pretty interesting products. My favorite product is probably the SpaRitual nail polish, it came in a lovely dark purple color. The nail polish was full size, so even better and goes on very smooth. Its also worth $ by itself, it paid for half the box. I also got some perfume samples, which were my least favorite items. They were all from Oscar De La Renta's new line of scents and for me, they were entirely too strong and too musky smelling. I figured Id pass them on to my mother. I also got some interesting lipstick. I'm not really into lipstick and I was dismayed how dark the color was! The brand was Tarte and it customizes to your natural pigments, so if you're into lipstick, this one may be one try. I also got a couple other products, a skin oil that smells heavenly as well as conditioner that was decent but nothing I could get excited about. It did not do anything more for my hair then my store bought conditioner does. Worst case scenario, if I ever get snowed in and/or the Zombie Apocalypse comes, Ill be stocked up on beauty products!
Overall, the box did pay for itself and its a fun way to spend a day pampering myself trying new beauty products!

Im trying a few different ones out to start, Glossybox, Ipsy, and Birchbox. Im curious to see what they all offer and which Ill keep and which Ill end. If you're interested at all in learning more, here's the link to my referral pages.




Thursday, July 4, 2013

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit, the apple that was never supposed to be eaten. What is it about things or people or places that we aren't supposed to want that makes us want them that much more? Is it our inner desire to be rebellious? Do we all just have a natural streak of defiance, a little person on our shoulder, leather jacket on, smoking, who pushes his black sunglasses back up on his face and with a nonchalant only a rebel has, says to you, "Just do it. No one cares and even if they do, that's their problem. Do what you want." I've been talking to my ladies recently about our "Forbidden Fruit". Married men, bad boys, ex's...
I think we all have stories of our escapades with someone or something we should never have even looked at, let alone got involved with. We knew better, then we know better now. My focus right now is, why? Is the thrill of doing something "bad"? Are they  just that irresistible? Is it a combination of many things? The Cougar, has a married man who repeatedly tries to ask her out. Spam has a married man, has had several actually, that always want to talk dirty online. Are married people really that bored and lonely? For that matter, are single people that bored and lonely? What is about our society today that makes anyone think its ok to shoot me a picture of their dick on my cell phone at 1am...while their wife lays in the bedroom next to them. What makes a married person think its ok to chat with other people in an online format sexually, while their spouse sits in the room watching TV.
I dont have the answers. I wish I did. Then Id understand it better.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Time to I've spent the last several nights with the ex, Alabama. He is here on business for a couple weeks. Its an odd situation...I'm not sure what it is, or even what it will be, if anything. I suspect I'm a convenient place to stay, a car to drive or at least get rides in. Perhaps that's me feeling insecure or maybe that's my spidey sense telling me the reality. Who knows? I probably never will completely. And I may not even want to.
He's changed slightly, a little less negative, gained a little weight, a little more friendly to my friends and family as they wander through while he is here, that's about it though.
Our relationship is very similar to what it was the last time I saw him, one year ago almost exactly. I thought it might be different at first, as he was very affectionate and sweet the first couple days. Now, however, its became the same old routine.

So essentially, its become the longest one night stand of my life.

So why do I do it? Boredom, loneliness, sucker? Could possibly be any of the above. I think its because unfortunately for me, this man, still retains part of my heart. I haven't let him go completely. I'm not even sure why that is. Could be that he is easy on the eye, wicked smart, and funny as hell. Or it could be that he is mildly unattainable to me, and don't we all just love what we cant have? It will be interesting to see what develops in the next two weeks.

On another note, my little wizpert page seems to be coming along quite well, slowly, but good. I think most of the people I "help" on there, really just want to be heard and having a sounding board to chat with about life. Don't we al need someone who is unbiased and will just listen and respond sometimes? That's what I like about my cat.

Also, my first Glossy Box arrives in a few days, I'm super excited about that! Getting to test out luxury beauty items is right up my alley of fun stuff to do! Sephora may weep at the loss of my credit card charges, but the fact I get to hang out testing beauty products does my soul good :)

Tata for now, M

Monday, June 24, 2013

Typical Day....typical conversation...

Thought I would just share a typical conversation between me and a guy....specifically, Alabama. He sent the booty comment....I answered.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Getting old?

Last night I was laying on my couch, giving out advice through my new is in beta testing right now...trying to tell people how to work on their romantic or platonic relationships.....I know, who are you to give advice? Just a woman with a lot of life experience and the ability to listen and help people sort through their emotions. More on wizpert later though.
Anyways I got a text from The Cougar, whose nickname for this blog may need to change(-your about to find out why) regarding our favorite topic, men.
So let me catch you up on my favorite Cougar....She decided a few months back that she needed a relationship. Needless to say I was shocked. This is the one friend I have who had never previously even hinted at a desire for a relationship, quite the opposite exactly. I almost choked on my Pepsi that night in the middle of karaoke and all.
So, to continue on, we have a mutual friend, who is very much married and very much likes to cheat. She informed me he texted her, wanting to get a "drink". She had responded with perhaps. She then went on to inform that fwb's bore her now.
This lead me to contemplate why that is. There was a period of time that casual sex and fwb's were perfectly fine. However, I've noticed not only her, but many more of my friends are getting less about the casual and more about the commitment. The question is....Why? We aren't in mid-life crisis mode...yet. We financially support ourselves...It's it loneliness,? Is it maturity? Is it a fear of growing old alone? The jury is out on what motivates us to seek out stronger relationships with the opposite sex....hopefully it's got positive reasons not just to cure loneliness. I know from experience you can be just as lonely married as you are single. Perhaps we just like substance and quality over quantity.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Trying Smashburger

Yum! I need to give a big shout out to +Smashburger , for having not only some of the best burgers Ive tasted in awhile but absolutely amazing customer service at their Nevada Avenue location in Colorado Springs! You're rockstars!

Relaxin by the pool...

Spending the day with family.....swimming....and working on my freckles (this girl doesnt tan)

Friday, June 21, 2013


Test for RSS Feed

Guess whose back?!! Let's play catch-up!

So, its been a crazy, hectic last several months with big changes and even more chaos then normal. When we last spoke, I was working in customer service and contemplating how to enforce a law that would require people to take IQ tests prior to buying phones...this way they are matched with the best phones suited to their needs and ABILITIES. I was also dating several people and talking online to even more. None of that's changed. Still working the same job.....still talking to the same men. Boring, I know.
However, other recent events have occurred. I went back to school, sure I'm only taking one to two classes a semester, but its a start right? I may be 90 by the time I finish but at least I can say I'm a college graduate some day. I find the classes interesting, they are online and definitely takes a lot of self control to do homework rather then watch Big Bang Theory and get my nerd fix or watch True Blood and get my HUNK fix...(Oh Joe day you'll make me the perfect 2nd husband). The students are different. Some read instructions, some clearly don't. Makes group tasks rather interesting to complete. School is school though and just as boring as it was when I was 16. I love to learn, however, being made to write essays about subjects I could care less about is never fun. Ah well. Poor me. :)
Anyways, on the relationships front, I've been in a bit of a lull. Actually, make that a giant STOP sign. I still talk to Loveland who only wants an on call vagina, and Tennessee, who just likes to have someone to complain to, and London, who just is. However, in an interesting twist, my ex, Alabama,  called me and said he would like to meet for dinner while he is in town on business (ie. court). Yes, he is winner. Its a little misdemeanor, that doesn't count right? Its not like he's Dr. Lector. I agreed to go, I'm curious will it be a booty call? How will it turn out? I'll keep ya posted. That's if he even shows, he tends to say a lot and do a little.
I also moved. I live in Colorado Springs, so saying that, it means the last two summers we've been going through fire seasons. On a serious note, I was very close to being evacuated in this most current one, called Black Forest fire. Several people I know were evacuated, and a few even lost their homes. My good friend, The Cougar, her parents lost their home. Its such a tragedy. My job was particularly close to it. My new home is not, however, the view from it is of last years burn if it rains too much, we'd be in flood danger. It feels as if we will never not have giant fires in our beautiful state. There has been so much loss already and still more to come as new fires are eating their way through my state as I type. The wind brings in the constant smell of fire....the sky is an odd shade of grey; the horizon is often times hazy with a orangish red moon at night. We go about our busy lives, when less then a mile from me are the burned out shells of former stunning, multimillion dollar homes that were ravaged by fire last year, and less then 10 miles away, the homes that have been ravaged by fire this year.  Its disheartening to drive in either of those directions, and my heart constantly goes out to all those affected in all the fires in this state.

On a lighter note, I discovered something new, they may become my new obsession besides shoes and purses.....subscription boxes. That's right. Monthly subscriptions to boxes of goodies. Ive started with two, Glossybox and Ipsy. I thought Id give them a whirl, try out their beauty products and if I like them maybe try more. I spend wayyyy too much money on hair/beauty goods in a month, so maybe this will curtail that a bit? I hope so and so does my checking account, although I suspect my credit card companies would prefer I keep spending ungodly amounts of time at Sephora. As I get the boxes I'll share what's in them and if their even worth the effort.

Well, it was nice catching up! Ill be back on again when I have updates or something interesting to tell!

Dueces, M