Saturday, June 29, 2013

Time to I've spent the last several nights with the ex, Alabama. He is here on business for a couple weeks. Its an odd situation...I'm not sure what it is, or even what it will be, if anything. I suspect I'm a convenient place to stay, a car to drive or at least get rides in. Perhaps that's me feeling insecure or maybe that's my spidey sense telling me the reality. Who knows? I probably never will completely. And I may not even want to.
He's changed slightly, a little less negative, gained a little weight, a little more friendly to my friends and family as they wander through while he is here, that's about it though.
Our relationship is very similar to what it was the last time I saw him, one year ago almost exactly. I thought it might be different at first, as he was very affectionate and sweet the first couple days. Now, however, its became the same old routine.

So essentially, its become the longest one night stand of my life.

So why do I do it? Boredom, loneliness, sucker? Could possibly be any of the above. I think its because unfortunately for me, this man, still retains part of my heart. I haven't let him go completely. I'm not even sure why that is. Could be that he is easy on the eye, wicked smart, and funny as hell. Or it could be that he is mildly unattainable to me, and don't we all just love what we cant have? It will be interesting to see what develops in the next two weeks.

On another note, my little wizpert page seems to be coming along quite well, slowly, but good. I think most of the people I "help" on there, really just want to be heard and having a sounding board to chat with about life. Don't we al need someone who is unbiased and will just listen and respond sometimes? That's what I like about my cat.

Also, my first Glossy Box arrives in a few days, I'm super excited about that! Getting to test out luxury beauty items is right up my alley of fun stuff to do! Sephora may weep at the loss of my credit card charges, but the fact I get to hang out testing beauty products does my soul good :)

Tata for now, M

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